Kindnesses

So I have been thinking a lot about the kindnesses of friends and strangers and how each small thing has helped me in some way.

Today at the Starbucks drive-through (I'm surviving on caffeine and adrenaline, don't judge) the woman in front of me paid for my latte. I was nearly brought to tears - and I have hardly cried (can't say never, but hardly) during this whole experience. If she only knew what a lift that small gesture gave me. If she only knew that every day is filled with tiny struggles and what pleasure I get from that coffee ... and then to have it presented to me, as a gift ...

My lacrosse team got together and gave me a card and a gift card last night. Again, I struggled not to cry. What an amazing group of girls and parents, not least of whom is a head coach I've loved working with over the years. I tried to explain to my team what a gift it is to be able to coach them. Not only because I love to watch them play - this crowd of strong, smart, spirited girls - but also because when I am on that field for a lacrosse game, I can think of absolutely nothing else for that hour. All of my troubles are erased and I am completely in the moment of that game, that time, that place. It's such a blessing. This is my seventh season coaching lacrosse, and this group of girls stands out for me. I have loved every team I've coached - but this team has a unity and a passion that just shines. So, maybe there's a reason I'm coaching this group at this time in my life. I'm not sure how much I believe in fate or a grand plan or even a higher power. But sometimes some things seem like more than just a coincidence.

Back to the night of the fire, one firefighter from Montgomery County stood out. I wish we knew his name. He brought us a pile of warm jackets and sweatshirts from my closet after the fire was out, while the investigators were doing their job and the crews were rolling up their hoses and preparing to leave. We were still standing in the driveway, wondering if we'd be allowed to go back into the house, and he saw us and realized we were cold. Then he went back in and brought out the kids' glasses and phones. I think this is also the same firefighter who told my husband that he had noticed Barry's wedding ring on a dresser in our room, and slipped it into a drawer so that nothing would happen to it. The thoughtfulness of that ... that in the middle of a fire a complete stranger would notice a wedding ring and try to keep it safe ... again, I have no words.

There are so many more, too many to list ... friends and acquaintances who called and texted with offers of housing, or storage for our things ... complete strangers on Facebook who tried to help with finding a rental home for us ... the absolute courtesy and gentleness of the professionals who came to take away our clothing, our furniture, our books, our food ... the friend who showed up, the morning after the fire, with beer (she knows us well) and a bouquet of flowers. Who would think of that, really? She said she thought I might need to look at something pretty. And she was right. I did need to look at something pretty, but I didn't even know it until she arrived with an armful of flowers.

Last night as we were driving home, my daughter and I were discussing the new furniture we planned, the changes we would like to make to the house (everyone keeps telling us, there's no better time), and she said it was almost like we had won the lottery. Immediately I thought of the hundreds of expenses, some big and some small, so many of which will never be recovered no matter how good our insurance, and I told her that no, it wasn't like that at all.

But I realized just now that I need to tell her, I was wrong. We did win the lottery. We are all fine. We are all safe. We are all here.